Ignorance is Ed
by doot-meister
Summary: It's become routine for Ed to sleep over Double Dee's house. Though this night Ed's actions confuse Double Dee in more ways than one. (Edd's PoV)


I could only speculate what reality lay behind my dear friend's eyes. From those outside our close camaraderie, one would suspect the space between his eyes was devoid of functionality. Even I supposed such a notion during a more youthful time. Yet be it by necessity or curiosity, I have come to know what few take the precious time to learn.

After all, I have spent a good deal of time with him.

"Now Ed, I believe you're well aware of the rules when it comes to sleeping over."

"Aww, but come on Double Dee!"

Ed's nightly stays had increased in frequency in years of late. Riddled with nightmares and broken REM cycles, his quality of sleep at home was poor. This was not only due to environmental factors such as mold and mildew, but to adverse emotional connections within his homestead.

He felt a sense of security with Eddy and I.

There were several times he inquired if he could move into either of our domiciles. Given the circumstances, neither of us could consent to such a thing. As a compromise, I offered him the usage of my room to sleep on occasion.

This, of course, was not without stipulation. I had long since found Ed's aversion to soap to be rather problematic. To counter this, I set up certain guidelines of which I refused to deviate from. Not only did this give relief to my olfactory senses, it also provided Ed an initiative to practice much needed self-care.

"I'm not budging on my conviction. If you would like to stay the night, you'll need to take a shower."

My inexorable attitude resulted in a pout from my unhygienic friend. Defeated, he turned towards my bathroom, spirits low.

"Oh-kay…"

A triumphant smile emerged from my lips as I observed my conditioning work splendidly. Oh, believe me, during the first few days after I implemented this technique it took upwards of an hour and a half to convince a pleading Ed I was not going to allow otherwise.

I followed soon after to check he hadn't merely turned the shower on and attempt to falsify bathing. Lo and behold, I saw my defeated silhouette of a friend through the curtain, covered in a veil of suds. Relieved at the lack of resistance, I gathered his clothing into a bag for later sanitization, labeling it for good measure. There had been more than one instance of Ed's clothes being mistaken for genuine garbage and thrown into the weekly trash.

Upon leaving, I placed some freshly laundered attire on the counter and proceeded to my room.

Not long after, I heard a small creak coming from my door. I turned to greet Ed, but I was welcomed by no one. Finding this peculiar, I stood and stared dumbly at my doorway which was devoid of my friend. I felt myself blink vacuously at the sight.

Little did I know I had become prey to a stalking Ed.

Without a moment to react, I was tackled to the ground by something sopping wet

"I AM A SWAMP MAN FROM THE MUD PLANET 52 COME TO SMITE YOU, INTRUDER!"

Ed bellowed this with such a playful gusto it managed to convince my adrenal glands I was not in any real danger. Although, I was still quite vexed at the sudden tackle. I soon regained my composure and took note Ed hadn't bothered to dry or clothe himself.

"ED! For Heaven's sake put some clothes on! Why didn't you dry off!? Oh, I'm absolutely drenched!"

After Ed inadvertently used my pajamas as a towel during his lunge, I was waterlogged. He merely dawned a fatuous smile at my statement and rose, assisting me to my feet. Continuing his playful mood, he stood upright and saluted me with a blank, stolid face.

"I surrender to you, General. Your power is too much for me! I will do as you command as I am forever under your orders! Such is the way of my planet."

At this, he exited my room with haste, retrieving towels and clothing to undo the mess which was made during his charade. He continued this roleplay through the entirety of our clean-up. By the end I had begun following along with his childish games.

"You've done a superb job on your mission, soldier!"

Ed replied to my gratitude with another ridged salute.

"At ease!"

In reaction to my dismissal, the brute which stood in front of me reclaimed his gentle expression, accompanied by a satisfied smile. I reflected said smile.

"Let's get to bed, shall we?"

Ed's grin increased in joy.

"Okee dokie, smoky pokey!"

Although Ed's antics took a bit of getting used to while he first commenced his evening visits, the willingness to reverse any damage his shenanigans created, alongside his bright demeanor, made it that much easier to bare.

As I settled into my covers, I sensed my bed move a tad. Looking over, I beheld Ed crawling in right after me. Being as this is not usually part of our regime, I reacted in a small amount of surprise.

"Uhm, Ed?"

Stopping dead in his tracks like a dog who knows they're doing something they shouldn't be, Ed stared at me with a somber face.

"Please Double Dee? The ground is cold and lonely, but your bed is comfy and warm."

I was allowed a moment of contemplation and finally conceded.

"Oh, alright. If that's the case, would you please shut my lamp off?"

An expression of unadulterated bliss blossomed on my now-bedmate's face. With unnecessary enthusiasm, he reached towards my lamp and promptly turned it off as my eyes closed. On Ed's return to his pillow I felt his gaze on me.

Deciding to investigate my suspicions, my vision was met by an unusually jubilant face directly in front of me. Enjoying my own personal body space, I felt a tad discontented by Ed's sudden closeness. A nervous chortle escaped me in defense.

"Well uhm, night-night, Ed."

Aware he would not understand my social cues, I promptly shut my eyes with my best attempts to ignore his proximity. I had begun rehearsing a lecture I would be giving my friend in the morning about respecting another's body space when my thoughts were disrupted by a reply.

"Night-night to you too, Double Dee."

Soon a shifting in the mattress occurred and I felt a pair of lips upon mine. Startled by this sudden and unforeseen display of affection, my eyes shot open in a hurry. Despite my speed, I was just in time to watch as he pulled away, his exuberant grin now softened. Dumbfounded, I stared at the creator of my confusion, futilely searching his eyes for an answer to his behavior.

"Ed..I, uhm."

Seeming satisfied with my bewilderment, he merely snuggled into the covers and proceeded to chase sleep without a further word.

I tried with no avail to decode the occurrence. I was naive, over-complicating such a simple and straightforward gesture.

Yet, while considering his tender countenance, I felt a strange chord struck on the instrument which we call the heart.


End file.
